Health, Life, Music

Playlist for my Nike+ run tonight

Ah I have more songs in the playlist case I do more… but tonight it went up to song 13.
  1. Be Yourself – Audioslave
  2. The Plot To Bomb The Panhandle – A Day To Remeber
  3. Blessed With A Curse – Bring Me The Horizon
  4. Meant To Live – Switchfoot
  5. If It Means A Lot To You – A Day To Remember
  6. Writing on the walls – Underoath
  7. With your friends (Long Drive) – Skrillex
  8. Thrones – Azure For Janne
  9. H.M.A.S Lookback – The Amity Affliction
  10. Sticks & Bricks – A Day To Remember 
  11. We Are Rockstars – Does It Offend You, Yeah?
  12. Pull Out My Insides – Does It Offend You, Yeah? 
  13. Head First In The River – Envy On The Coast
Total: 13 songs out of 26, 55:43 total time play.
Tomorrow gotta put in some Red Hot Chilli Pepper! Probably some Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park too. Reliving early high school tomorrow!
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Life, Music, Reviews, Sightings

Since I last blogged in Nov…

Hey all!

Since I last blogged in Nov! I’ve been pretty busy.. I guess I’ve always said the same thing.. Busy… busy… busy…

Well firstly I was pleasantly surprised that I did pretty well for my results for my first semester… Honestly I thought I would have done pretty badly. Thank God I did my part. Only one subject I was really disappointed with but all in a a decent semester.

After the last of my assignments, I started packing stuff from my room! It was a treacherous one as I had heaps of stuff all over! Thank God I had enough boxes! Ultimately I would like to thank all my friends who helped with transporting and accommodating my stuff! Seriously you guys are awesome! Thanks to Doris and Leo too! For having me over to stay for the night at their new place! Which is so nice and cosy! Can’t wait for the house warming!

Flew to Melbourne for a week to catch No Sleep Til, which is probably the biggest festival I’ve been too! Heaps of awesome bands! I’ve a No Sleep Til album right here, for yo guys to check it out! The after party was epic too! Cause I got to meet some of the awesome bands! Wish A Day To Remember was there tho! None the less, meeting the members of Suicide Silence, We Came As Romans and August Burns Red was all ready Epic!!!

Was talking to Scott who flew from Malaysia just for the fest, and we agreed that what would have made NST complete was if Underoath and Amity Afflictions were a part of it! Would have been a show of a lifetime!

All in all.. my 4 months in Australia has been a life learning lesson in so many ways! I am glad that I get a chance to experience this and I thank my parents so much for it!

Love you mum and dad!!

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Life, Music

The rabbit hole

was watching Alice in wonderland Cartoon version from the 1950s earlier today…

coming back to Malaysia is my Rabbit Hole… and I want to get out of it…. I have have been pondering this thought that I will never be able to settle down properly after leaving my good friends, stayed overseas in my “home” country… since touching down back to Malaysia… 5 years ago…

Till today.. i still feel like a Foreigner in my country of citizenship.. I guess it’s my passport ,the skin, the blood and that says i am a Malaysian… while my heart, my soul never really felt that way.. it was never settled..

Feels like i am homesick away from home…

Feels like I am all alone here…. Guess I can’t relate to anyone here… or share my deepest thoughts to… even to my family.. I know my God is there to be my comforter, my friend, my father in heaven, my friend, but I guess I don’t have that closeness with anyone here since 5 years back…

No doubt I meet new people and have new friends but friendship takes time to build… and I feel dis-attached

I feel like an outcast…Feels like I am going crazy…

My mix feelings for people has grown and I am developing Punch-Drunk emotions all the time….

When things don’t happen the way it was planned, false promises…

Is there something wrong with me??? Why don’t I get the same respect?

Seriously I am tired of people telling me “maybe” when what they meant was
“I will wait to see if my other friends has something better and more fun offers to do” or just “plain I don’t want to go. Just tell me straight so that i don’t have to waste time to feel this way and get last minute cancellations and false hope…

I guess I don’t get the commitments I deserve when I give so much of my time… I guess I over expect things and become disappointed in the end.

I have feelings that I want to express to the person I admire and a person who I got to know and care so much for in this short time I got to know her… but I can’t. Things run through my mind. I get jealous that you hang out with others more… I get sick of not being able to talk to you, I get pissed off that in the end i am just being used… not for real, as I have been warned that you are poison… which I’ve tried to ignore countless of times cause I hoped and believed that it was not true…

I make time for you, I deferred my plans and arrangements for you . I guess I do not have the courage to tell you how I feel about you.Fear that you don’t feel the same way? I do …

You consume my thoughts and mind.Thoughts of us spending time together..Your hair, your beauty, your smile, your voice,  your imperfectness, my memories and I guess I am not good at showing, expressing and telling you my feelings…

As the date of my departure comes closer.. All the more I don’t know… For this short time we know each other… I feel more that I need you like a addict to a drug…

I guess it’s never wrong that I have had to come back as I have had wonderful and also the most lowest and worst experiences of my life… to have to lose Torrie… It’s all in God’s plan i guess… as I am reminded of His perfect plan for my life..It is a turbulent roller coaster ride…and my personality and though have changeand grown… to be the person I am today…

How far does this Punch-Drunkedness go? How deep has the rabbit hole gone? I don’t know… I just want it to stop… and get away…

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Life

Carrying the coals & keeping the fire wood together…

Had an awesome time of prayer worship last night during worship practice! It’s the first service I’m serving this year for the YA/College service on Saturday evenings! Am ecstatic and can’t wait for Saturday for more! I’m coming expecting 😀

It is when this hit me…

During the course of my journey through life, the past few months has made me realized, by the signs and people that God has sent to me, that the ministries that I am in (leadership position in church and worship team) are front-line ministries, and how important it is to mindful of our own lives.

Indeed being a cell leader is like a Shepard who watches it’s flock, to guide, to facilitate, to be an intercessor, to assist, to be a humble and also to be a lover of God and His Word.

As in the leadership line of ministry, i learnt that each and every leader is an humble example of Jesus Christ. I realised that I need to keep my life always with my guard up in my actions, words and my mind.  It took me awhile to know that my Daily devotions and my relationship with God is essential as a leader will be a special target of the evil one. We are not perfect but I realized God was not looking for Perfection, but a willingness to yield to the Holy Spirit.

As for worship team, it is indeed a privilege and an honour to be able to serve as a guitarist on the worship team. Worship Team leads God’s people in praise and worship through welcoming and ushering in His Holy Spirit. We want to magnify and exalt the Lord in our hearts. When worshippers are drawn into God’s presence, they speak to Him, and listen to Him. We rejoice when our mission has been accomplished.

Before even talking about serving in whatever ministries in our lives, we have to be humble and honest before God and willingness to move.

To keep the fire burning, the wood and coals have to be placed together to keep everything connected to keep the fire burning. Just like our lives, our walk with God has to be prioritized, focused and get everything together, like if all the wood fire is spread out and not connected at all, the fire will dwindle and won’t last and stand, it will falter.

God, thank You for your prompts and reminders…

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